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The Essence of Trust

2024-06-19T11:32-07:00

Losing a library card wouldn't be a crisis for most people, but for me one rainy day it was. It resurfaced in the library that very same afternoon, yet even after reading the librarian's email assuring me all was well, I still felt it wasn't. "What if someone copied down the number and plans to check out a hundred rare books?" I worried. "What if I have to pay thousands of dollars to replace them while the thief turns a profit selling obscure novels? How will I go on?"

Looking back now, these fears sound ridiculous. I definitely wasn't a master of metta meditation, the Buddhist practice where you radiate love, trust, and compassion out into the entire universe. If I couldn't trust someone around my unattended library card, I certainly couldn't send loving-kindness out to all of humanity. This was no way to live. Looking over my shoulder every minute gave me not a sense of safety, but a huge pain in the neck. Studies show that anywhere from 75-90 percent of the population are consistently honest, but for some of us it feels just the opposite. Why is this?

In journalism school we studied the effects of violent news coverage on society. The results surprised me: watching this kind of media didn't promote more violence, it only increased people's fear of a chaotic, uncontrollable world. It doesn't help that the media leans towards this kind of coverage as it captures our animalistic attention, which evolved to be ever-vigilant. Before the proliferation of modern digital media, attitudes were different.

People of my generation listen aghast to our grandparents' stories about how they slept with doors unlocked. My nana and papa would even leave their keys in the car while grocery shopping in their small Arizona town. Was the world really safer, or were people simply less jaded?

The first line of the Dhammapada is perhaps the book's most powerful: "The mind controls all things." In my Western materialist culture it's easy to believe that tangible things and external events control our minds, but this isn't true. We always have the final say in how we react to events, whether it's losing a library card or losing a job. Instead of freaking out, we can choose to accept that everything just might be okay. That's the essence of trust.

I'm not saying to always let things be. If someone takes your credit card, report it. Sometimes, however, it's worth the gamble to stand back and do nothing. In my case no one used my library card to start their own black market of stolen books. It may sound absurd, but it actually strengthened my trust in the human race, encouraging me to develop more compassion for myself and others.

Trust is a gamble, but in the context of our spiritual practice the reward far outweighs the risk. Giving others the benefit of the doubt softens the heart, and like a karmic beacon it shows others that you can be trusted in return. So, for a refreshing change in media coverage, I have a new headline for you: I trusted someone to do the right thing, and then they did.